A question of sex that doesn't supply many answers

Quoted from: http://www.yorkshiretoday.co.uk

'A new survey claims too many young people are ignoring the safe sex message, but should we really be worried?
Sarah Freeman reports.

Body talk: Teenagers are bombarded with messages that sexual activity is commonplace and told that stars like Robbie Williams have had therapy to cure their insatiable appetite for sex.

A question of sex that doesn't supply many answers
A new survey claims too many young people are ignoring the safe sex message, but should we really be worried? Sarah Freeman reports.
There are lies, damned lies and questionnaires.When Radio One, together with MTV and Durex, decided to find what was really going on in the sex lives of 16 to 24-year-olds, they asked them to fill out a confidential online survey and the results were published yesterday to some controversy.To shocked gasps from those who didn't do anything more daring than hold hands before a wedding ring was on their finger, the survey revealed that a third of all 16-24-years-old lost their virginity before the age of consent, 38 per cent don't practise safe sex and more than half have had a one night stand.But before we label this apparently wanton lot as no- hopers who mistake sex for intimacy and flings for relationships, it's worth remembering that the figures may not quite reflect the wider picture and were based on the 20,000 or so who had the time and the inclination to bother spilling the intimate details of their private life online.Admittedly, conclusions have been drawn from the findings of a much smaller group, but when it comes to the question of sex even the most honest of us would be tempted to spice up the more mundane reality and when you're young, when the opposite sex seems like the most importantand fascinating thing in the world, a few white lies never go amiss.So when the figures show 43 per cent have had a least five sexual partners and 18 per cent have had 10 or more, they probably include a few figments of the imagination and a couple of people they would have liked to have slept next to rather than with.Before a certain age, admitting you would actually much rather wait until the right man/woman came along, that the prospect of sex is frankly terrifying and that actually you would much rather spend Saturday nights in the company of a bottle of wine and some cheap TV, is only for the brave or the stupid and no assurances about confidentiality and anonymity will change that.There's always going to be the niggling worry that it's one giant conspiracy theory, that there will be a load of people ready to laugh at any inadequacies and when those who don't meet the sexiest of criteria an alarm sounds somewhere in cyberspace and an email about your sexual prowess or lack of it will be immediately sent to your nearest and dearest.It's hardly a surprise that we want everyone to think we are effortlessly irresistible to the opposite sex. Who wouldn't want to have the kind of magnetic libido which attracts only the eligible, witty and financially secure rather than having to sift through the mire which is 21st-century dating?And while celebrities get the blame for everything from increased cases of anorexia to encouraging binge drinking, they have been doing their very best to fuel our sexual appetites.Not a week goes by without someone confessing all about their bedroom habits, kiss'n'tell stories have never been more in demand and just to make us all feel really bad, Michael Douglas and Robbie Williams have even been admitted to therapy to cure their insatiable appetite for sex.Now sex addiction, which is presumably when innocent flirting spirals out of control, has always seemed like one bad habit most people wouldn't mind having. In today's fame obsessed society, increasing numbers of us are desperate to follow in the footsteps of celebrities and if all it takes is a little stretching of the truth to boost our libidos then so be it.And while we may all be more open in our desire to be sexual sirens, it's a feeling which has been rumbling on since long before glossy magazines became bibles for the sexual antics of our singers, film stars and those famous for simply being famous.Newspapers and gossip columns may have once been more discreet, but people didn't admire James Dean and Marilyn Monroe for their brains, they wanted to be like them because they oozed sex appeal, because they were good looking and, despite later evidence to the contrary, because they seemed to enjoy having it all.Yes, our attitude to sex has become more relaxed. Young people probably do have more sexual partners than 50 years ago, they may even have one night stands and occasionally they may not even remember their names, but in the often traumatic world of sex and relationships, the one thing which is certain is that we are all born liars.

sarah.freeman@ypn.co.uk

15 August 2006'